What I learned from the people in the Season Finale of Bachelor in Paradise

The final rose was given, people got engaged, people broke up, some found their crazy love while others just went crazy! 

Whether or not you’re a fan of this show, It doesn’t matter because I promise you, you will learn what you should do and what you should definitely NOT do when dating. 

Here’s what I learned:

1. Victoria & Johnny: If he says he’s not good enough, it’s “bye-bye” time - They got engaged, but they broke up a few weeks after. So what happened? When a guy tells you that he feels like he's not good enough, that's when you say “bye-bye”. I know it sounds cold-hearted, but it doesn't matter because you don't have any time to waste. You really don't.

Also, that guy needs to do a lot of self-work to get to a place where he's confident in himself. How can you expect him to show up for you and to be in a healthy relationship when he can't even face himself and be happy and secure in that?

 


This is why I tell the women I work with that it's so important to do the self-work, that inner work, that reflection. You have to take that time to get to a place where you really love yourself and you're confident in yourself. 




So it didn't come as a surprise when Victoria shared how after they got home from Paradise, Johnny began disrespecting her by calling her names, and accusing her of cheating on him.



Because of his insecurities and his lack of self-love and awareness, Johnny is unable to show up for any relationship. What's even worse is that he was trying to dim Victoria’s beautiful light. Thankfully, Victoria ended it with Johnny, and did find another guy, Greg from a previous season. Hopefully, she learned from her mistakes and asked Greg the hard, deep questions before getting physical.

2. Tyler: Don’t listen to unhappy and bitter people -  Tyler is not in a happy, healthy relationship and he is not telling Johnny what Johnny needs to hear. Johnny needs to hear, “Hey, you need to do some work on yourself. You need to stop pointing the finger at her. What could you have done better? Take accountability! You didn't feel good enough? Maybe you're all in your head. You destroyed a good thing.” But he’s not saying any of that.



Instead, Tyler's telling Johnny, “Oh, yeah, we know who she is. We know how she messed up. You didn't do anything wrong, Johnny.” And guess what? Johnny is going to keep doing the same thing over and over and be in a pattern if he keeps surrounding himself with people like Tyler.

When you guys are out in your life and you're hanging out with people and you're going through something, who are you talking to? Who are you listening to? Please ask for advice from people who are where you feel like, “Oh, my gosh, that would be so nice to be where they're at.” Ask the right people, ask people you are inspired by, people who are in a happy and healthy relationship.


 

3. Danielle & Michael: It’s never too late to find love again - They both lost their last significant other but they still found love again. Michael's wife, the only other person who he said I love you to had passed away and Danielle had been engaged, but he passed away as well. 

I love how self aware Danielle is. She is so empathetic. She is so aware of her situation and respects him and has so much patience. I love how she says she feels really safe with Michael and says he's a super bright light.  This is something that I am so about, that you have this beautiful light and you want to find a partner that sees it and wants you to shine. And Danielle sees that light in Michael, and she feels it's so special, and she just never wants to dim his light.

There’s a level of security that you have to have as a person where you feel secure enough in yourself that you never have to wonder “Am I good enough?” and dimming their light with your insecurities. Danielle's not like that. She's gone through a lot. She knows who she is. She knows what she wants, and she appreciates an amazing man when he comes along. They really are a great example of C.R.A.Z.Y. love.

5. Brandon & Serene: “There’s never a perfect time to marry, but there’s a perfect person to marry.” - These two lovebirds found their happily ever after and it will inspire you to find yours too. Watching Brandon cherish Serene for exactly who she is really is a great example of C.R.A.Z.Y. Love. They trusted the universe that their person was out there waiting for them, and once they found each other, they remembered they deserve that love and they would never take it for granted.

Listen to my latest podcast episode to learn even more lessons taken from all of the mistakes and the wins from this incredibly entertaining season finale of the Bachelor in Paradise.

And remember, it has to be, Crazy Love or Nothing.

Your love coach,

Jackie