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Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Not So Fast!

Picture this: you're on a date, and the conversation flows so easily that you feel comfortable enough to ask a tough question, "Have you ever cheated?" To your surprise, the answer is "yes."  They admit it wasn’t their proudest moment, but it happened years ago, and they’ve grown since then.

If you've been cheated on before, I get how this could stir up old wounds. That voice in your head might scream, "Once a cheater, always a cheater!" Trust me, I used to believe that too. And for many, the idea of forgiveness or trusting again seems impossible. But here’s why I’ve changed my perspective. 💡

 

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Cheating is, of course, a betrayal, but it doesn’t mean that person is forever incapable of change. Emotional maturity is key here. People evolve. They learn from their mistakes, especially if they take responsibility for their actions. If someone reflects deeply on their behavior, owns it, and is committed to never repeating it, shouldn’t that growth be acknowledged? 

We’ve all made mistakes, maybe not in the same way, but we’ve all done things we regret. The question is, did we learn from it? Did we become better versions of ourselves? That’s where the focus should be—not just on the past mistake but on the present growth and commitment to never going down that road again. 

 

So, when that tough conversation comes up with someone new, don’t jump to conclusions right away. Listen to their story, how they’ve grown, and where they stand today. Yes, scars from the past are real, but if we continue to judge people only by their worst moments, we might miss out on something truly beautiful.  

Let’s give room for growth, for both ourselves and others. It’s not about erasing the past—it’s about recognizing who someone has become despite it.

Follow me on my socials @thejackieloor and listen to my podcast for more dating, love and relationship insights! 

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