6 Reasons You Haven’t Found the Love of Your Life…Yet!

People always tell me that I’m so lucky when they see me living a beautiful crazy love story with my adoring husband and our 2 beautiful daughters on a gorgeous volcanic island, but I always tell them there was no luck in my story. 

It’s easy for people to think it’s luck because then they would feel better knowing they are alone due to bad luck. 

They can then continue to tell themselves the story they have been telling themselves all along, whatever the story may be. 

Be that there are no good guys left or maybe there are no good guys where they live, or it’s just so hard to date because of their busy schedule, or a hundred other reasons, but the reality of the situation is so much harder to face. 

I’ve had plenty of failed relationships, but right after a particular one that was a long-distance relationship for a year and a half with a guy in New York I was beyond exhausted! 

I felt so drained after investing so much of myself in yet another relationship that didn’t work out and there I was again...alone.

At a nearby favorite bar in South Miami with my best friend Mels I asked her, “Another asshole. Why do I keep going out with so many assholes?” And as those words came out of my mouth the hard truth hit me in the face like a ton of bricks.

My eyes widened like I saw a ghost, most likely a crazy single old lady ghost which would be my future self if I continued down this path. 

She saw the look in my eyes, and said, “What…what is it?”

 “He’s not the asshole,” I said.

“Yeah he was,” Mels responded.

"No, he’s not the asshole. None of them were the assholes. I AM THE ASSHOLE!"

That moment of clarity changed everything for me.

Game-Changer! 

I came to realize that for years I kept choosing all the wrong men to date.

But why?

I hope you are now realizing that the real question you should be asking is…

“Am I the asshole?”

Be open, don’t get defensive, and challenge yourself. You are on a journey to grow, right? So what if you are the asshole? 

Are you?

If you aren’t then that’s a problem I can’t help you with, but if you are then that’s perfect because you can do something about it!

If you are open and ready to challenge yourself, here are the

6 Reasons You Haven’t Found Your Person Yet…

1. Fear - You are scared you are not good enough and not lovable so that holds you back from really putting your heart on your sleeve and truly connecting with people. 

Without emotional connection you will never be able to find your person.

2. Lack of Faith - You don’t believe there is someone out there for you. You believe that there is no such thing as love and if there is love, it’s not meant for you.

What you’ve seen growing up or even in your past relationships may have made you lose faith in love. Doing some inner work can really help you heal from the past.

 3. You’re listening to the wrong people - You keep hanging out with people who have not found love who keep telling you how hard it is to date and find love and to just settle for the first man that comes along or stay alone forever with them. Misery really does love company. 

 If you want to find love, spend time with people who have found real love and believe in it and believe you are worthy of finding that same love.

4. You’re not taking responsibility - You keep blaming everyone else but yourself. There are no good guys out there, you’re surrounded by assholes, they are not smart enough, they are all cheaters, they are liars, online dating sucks, and the list goes on. 

What if you are in your own way? If you stop and realized that you were the one at the wheel who kept choosing to date these types of guys, then you are the one who can make a different decision. You can choose to not date those types of guys.

5. You’re stuck in a pattern - It is so difficult to stop a pattern. You have been choosing partners for years because of what you saw growing up and because of what you learned and didn’t learn in your past relationships. 

6. You think you have so much time - I remember thinking I would just go on a couple of dates with a guy and then those dates turned into months and even years and where did that leave me? A little bit older and still single. 

You have no time to waste. Know your worth and how valuable your time is so you can stop giving it away to anyone who comes your way. 

You may want to start a family and you know that takes some time so your time truly matters.

So…

I am asking you…

Challenging you…

Stop dating the way you have been dating. 

Stop thinking the way you’ve been thinking. 

Stop listening to the people you’ve been listening to who have only encouraged you to continue the bullshit story you have been telling yourself. 

Yes, this is not easy. 

Yes, what I’m asking you to do may seem pretty damn difficult, but I promise you it will be so much harder to go the rest of your life never meeting your person. 

I know he is out there. 

I know he is waiting for you, but you just need to get out of your own way and if you won’t do it, you can count on me to push your ass out of the way! 

This is what I do as a love coach. I help my clients get out of their own way by calling them out with love, and giving them a different perspective so that they can take different actions that guide them right to their person. 

This is the moment you decide to take action and change your love life once and for all.

How will you take action to change your love life?